I promise you not a moment will be lost as long as I have heart & voice to speak & we will walk again together with a thousand others & a thousand more & on & on until there is no one among us who does not know the truth: there is no future without love.

-StoryPeople

Tom Davis posed this question on his blog. I've talked about Tom here before... he heads up Children's HopeChest and is the author of the fierce and important book Red Letters: Living a Faith That Bleeds, as well as others. What you may not know is that Tom has become a novelist as well, using the medium of fiction to introduce people to critical global issues (think modern day slavery). It's a brilliant strategy.

So, Tom's cooking up a new book project, and is looking for imput. Here is his question:

Imagine a world where you had the power to eliminate extreme poverty. What would you do and how would you do it? What does it look like to you?

This seems to be a real season of change and growth for me. Can hardly wrap my head around it all. Just a couple days into the Mondo Beyondo e-course, and it's kicking my butt! What I thought would be lots of work + fun is proving to be lots of work + lots of surprises unearthed + lots of internal work + a little bit of awe. I should probably mention the tears too. The perfect thing at the perfect time.

Also breaking through some inertia, to make changes I have been thinking about for ages. This last weekend I bailed on Facebook. I should have done it a long time ago. Bailing from a few more internet haunts. Making room. Making room for something more life-giving.

The photo above? Yep, that's me on the right. Having a blast with an Indian monk. Yes, I was. And fellow Lumen Dei participant Peter Bergmeier caught the pixels to prove it. Actually, Peter had a difficult task. We were all given the assignment of making a portrait of someone in the group. Poor Peter was assigned me. "You're in for a rough ride..." I told him. In truth there are very few photographs around of me. Lots of reasons I won't get into now. But I had a choice to make with Peter. I could let my habitual behaviour ruin some really great moments... or I could just relax and stay present with whatever I was doing at the time. Occasionally I managed to stay present. I owe Peter a great debt for making it possible.

And this is so weirdly random I can't believe I'm posting about it, but I thought I should mention it. Most of you know me in your comment boxes as 'wilsonian'. Way, way back when I started blogging, I was doing so anonymously, and that was the name I chose to use. Well, I clearly no longer blog anonymously. And I've met so many of you in person now, that it seems a little ridiculous to keep using it. It was habit, and there are frankly so many other 'Erin's out there that I just coasted with it. But it's time to let that go too. So when you see me in you inbox (and you will... I have LOTS of catching up to do with blogs and flickr!!!), it will be with my real name. And yes, it will really be me.

Peace...
Erin Wilson

"Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive." -Howard Thurman via Inward/Outward


What makes you come alive? Are you living it out, or are you hiding it away, tucked safely in a little niche with other sacred things?

Waiting for permission to unwrap your best self, your best songs, your best poems, your best meals, your best hugs, your best prayers, your best paintings, your best lessons, your best and strongest wide open arms...?

Don't wait. You already have permission.

What a trip! It's not over yet... I still have the long flight home, but this has been an amazing time. I'll save stories for when I'm home, showered, and more coherent, but thought I'd share this little photo essay I put together.

We were given an assignment during the workshop, to tell a story about something we discovered here in India. Truth be told, I was sick much of the trip, and had a hard time being fully present... connecting. A few hours before our assignment was due, I was found repeating over and over "I don't have a story yet!". The team loaded up into 4x4's for a drive of 120 km (and 0ver 18,000 feet in height!) back to base camp, and I settled in for some time of reflection. The more I thought, the more I realized that the biggest journey I'd taken on this trip was an internal journey, facing down some of my fears.

Fears. Lots of them. No surprise really, if you know me at all.


I was a little afraid of India. I was surprised by the stereotypes and prejudices I held onto. It was powerful to jump in and face my fear in such a place as Delhi.


I was intimidated by my fellow travellers. This is one group of talented people! I was full of angst before I left, about fitting in, about measuring up. In the end, none of that mattered. Kindness and grace bridged every gap.


I was afraid to show my work to others. We had a couple really helpful critique sessions, but the hardest exercise came in showing my work to one of the experts. All my work. All the out-takes, everything. Talk about feeling like you're standing naked! But in this space, I was given the gift of seeing my work through a different eye. Some of my images were flagged that I hadn't given a second thought, like the one above. Taking that risk will pay off all the rest of my days.


Some of the fears I faced quite unexpectedly. Long-standing fears. Matt Brandon coached me over to this little peninsula of land to get this shot. Another day you'll see how high this was, but trust me when I say that the fifth step on a ladder is a stretch for me. I also walked a very steep, very scary hairpin-turn path from this spot back down to the village below. I could not have done it without Russ Taylor talking me through every step. His Outward Bound training has paid off!! And then there was the short ride on the back of a motorcycle... A few weeks ago I could not have imagined doing any of these things. And I doubt Matt, Russ or Peter have any idea of how much of an influence they've had. It's a powerful thing when you don't have to face fears alone...



And when I'd faced some of those fears, and found some healing from sickness, I found a really beautiful place. A place where I was finally able to 'see'.

Ten days into the trip, it felt like it was really just starting for me.
But that's sort of the point, isn't it.

Up to a naked moment? Maybe you would be willing to tell me about a fear you faced in the last couple weeks...

"Taking great photographs requires more than following seven magic steps. It requires becoming someone new." -Chris Orwig

Or try this on...
Being a great parent requires more than following seven magic steps. It requires becoming someone new.
Being a great friend requires more than following seven magic steps. It requires becoming someone new.
Being a great disciple of Jesus requires more than following seven magic steps. It requires becoming someone new...

Sitting at a cafe in Frankfurt with my friend Dani, en route to India.
Becoming someone new.

Summer seems to be tucking itself in early this year. Cool days. Even cooler nights. It's just my kind of weather, so I'm not averse to a little preview to fall.

With summer's last long weekend coming up in a few days, it's time this series got put to bed too. You know, it's been pretty amazing, these 15 weeks of exploring the life I already have. I could honestly have kept going with it, there being so much to rediscover, but that's rather the point. Life can be as rich as I make it. I just need to slow down and take a good look around.

That said, sometimes you've got to just fling back the covers and go for it. Sometimes you need to do something that scares the crap out of you. Totally.

-I decided a while back to let my gray hair grow in. I'm not talking a few strays here. I started to go gray when I was 14 (I'll spare you the math... that's 27 years ago). In this case, it's not me who is scared, it's my mother. Oh, and everyone who has to look at me. I'm at that terrible half and half stage now.

-In 11 days I leave for a trip to India. Not a mission trip. No, if it were a mission trip, I wouldn't be scared. My head, heart and hands know what to do on a mission trip. Instead I'm diving head-long out of my element, taking a photography workshop. A once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to learn from David duChemin, Matt Brandon and Ami Vitale. Yeah, wild isn't it? And I've lost more hours of my life angsting over this... hours that I will never get back. I'll spare you the gory details, but I've been scared about not cutting it (I'm capital-N Novice), about not fitting in, about looking stupid, and about my difficulty in social situations getting out of hand. I had a major epiphany this week (which I'll save for another post) that reframed everything, and took the fear away. And everything is different now.

-I am an artist.

(I'm pausing for my own moment of silence here. It wasn't until a couple days ago that I allowed myself to say that out loud. If anyone else ever tried to use that label for me I was always quick to brush it aside. Surely anyone reading this who makes their living from art is rolling their eyes right now. And that's okay too. It's about how I see the world and process, as much as how I currently make my living. Let's try this again...)

-I am an artist. I've worked with wood on historic buildings. I've worked with vintage fabric creating one-of-a-kind handbags. I've worked with a community's past creating museum exhibits. I've worked with historical photographs, editing photos for a book. I've worked a little bit with film and developing chemicals. And I work with a digital camera, corralling pixels into images. I am an artist with wide interests, and photography is one medium I love. Someday I'll be good at this (when I'm in my 70's, if Malcolm Gladwell has it right). And in the meantime, I'm still going to enjoy it. The photos that go with my blog posts? For a long while now I've been using my own photographs.

I think I might be sick. I can't believe I "spoke that out loud". It's very tempting to close the comments on this one, but I'm keeping them open and issuing a challenge. I'd love to hear what you're doing now that scares you. This could be a great opportunity to gain strength from each other. And if there is nothing... not a thing that you're doing now that scares you... maybe it's time for you to fling back the covers and go for it.


+++++++++++++++++++

The List:
1. Write to my sponsor child.
2. Eat what's already in the cupboards.
3. Explore my neighbourhood.
4. Explore a little farther afield.
5. Do that thing that brings you life.
6. Spend time with old friends.
7. Seek out the wisdom around me.
8. Get my feet dirty.
9. Laugh!
10. Make space.
11. Fail well.
12. Celebrate!
13. Pay Attention.
14. Say thanks.
15. Do something that scares you.